Writing


2018 Term 1



2017 
Term 1

2016
Term 4
Today we reflected on our writing in relation to the National Standards. We considered what was expected for the After 2 Years and After 3 Years at school. We looked at our own writing and considered whether there was evidence our writing of what was expected at the standard we were being assessed against. After reflecting on whether there were aspects of the expected writing standards within our work, discussing with a buddy, we then placed our books on the floor in relation to the standard. Did our work reflect what was expected? Was our work slightly below or above the standard? Did our work reflect what was expected at the standard above or below the standard expected of us? We then shared some of our thinking and justifications for our placements. It was a great opportunity to reflect on our writing and build our assessment capability. 


Mother's Day Poems
We thought our Mums would love the special messages we wrote just for them. Enjoy some of the poems we wrote.

My Mum
I see... a kind and caring smiling eyed mum.
I hear...mum say, 'I love you.' before I go to sleep.
I feel...safe, arm and loved with my Mum around.
I wonder...how much you love me and care for me.

By Holly S


My Mum
I see... my mum's eyes when she looks at me.
I hear...my mum's voice. It makes me smile.  
I feel...like my mum's beautiful face is looking at me..

I wonder..if she really loves me.

By Zoe Mac K


My Mum

I see... a  28 year old girl with black hair and brown eyes. 
I hear...sweet things come out of her mouth.
I feel...safe when she tucks me in.
I wonder..if I could get some jewellery to give her on Mother's Day. Love Levi xoxo

By Levi H



Term 3

Father's Day

We wrote acrostic poems for Father's Day. We think our dads would have loved their specially made poems. Here are some written by the children:

My dad is cool.
You are the best dad ever because you are cool and funny and kind.

Funny, you really love me because I am your daughter.
A funny caring dad, lovely to me.
The loveliest handsome dad ever.
He is beautiful and clean.
Everyday I love you.
Raining lovely love hearts.
By Charlotte H

My dad is the best because he works hard at work can can earn money.
You are a good joiner and a good worker.

Father is mine forever.
At home you are really busy which is good.
The only dad is you.
Handy and cuddly.
Everyday is special.
Remember me always.
By Josh M

My dad teaches me strategies in cricket.
You are the best cricket teacher.

For my birthday dad gave me a video game.
All day my dad is funny.
The Father's Day is dad's favorite day.
Has a happy face.
Everyday dad has a big smile.
Really great, great day on Father's Day.
By Emmanuel

My dad is the best of the best.
You do fun things that make people happy.

Fun, fun dad who does fun, fun things.
Are you the best? Yes you are. Are you kind? Yes you are.
The best day was when you made me happy when I was sad.
He was never mean to me and he still is nice to me.
Every time in my life you will be with me or close to me.
Rock and roll dad.
By Billy



This week we worked really hard on creating 'wow' sentences. We decided we could make 'wow' sentences by adding:

  • greater detail (thinking about what we could imagine)
  • adjectives
  • stronger verbs
  • use adverbs
  • use precise nouns
On Wednesday we used the picture of a bird. We started with this sentence, "The bird flew in the sky."

These were some of our 'wow' sentences we created.

As the shining sun sizzled into the shining sea the albatross glided across the Pacific Ocean.
By Billy and Sam F

The falcon gently flew across the gleaming afternoon sky.
By Elliet and Charlotte A

The golden eagle drifted across the wavy sea and flew into the golden sunset.

By Ollie, Chase and Joseph 

The albatross glided across the gleaming sky and then it burst through the golden water after its prey. The albatross caught it and flew away to its nest.

By Arlo


On Friday we used this picture. These were some of our 'wow' sentences.

The stag stared anxiously at the bush rustling when the stag heard a 'boom!!!'
The stag ran for its life. The hunter said, "oh, shot!"

By Joseph

As the freezing cold deer and stag quickly ran through the shivering blue forest, they heard a noisy bang. They knew what it was, the sound of a flaming gun. They ran for their lives, but it was too late.

By Tayven




We have been working hard on our writing goals. We all have our own writing goals. Some of these include:

  • Confirming sentences
  • Greater use of strong verbs and adjectives
  • Proof reading our work
  • Being selective about the adjectives and verbs we use
  • Use alliteration, similes and metaphor in our writing
  • Editing for impact
  • Applying the spelling rules we have learnt about 
We hope you enjoy sharing some of the stories that show evidence of our learning.
Fabulous examples of 'moment in time' writing - 

2015



24 August - Diary Writing
Sick
I squeezed the bowl tight as I felt the icky pain in my tummy. It came up to my throat as I called for Mum! I really needed the bucket. I was throwing up the stinky chunky spew.
By Elliet

Hockey Break Up
My starving tummy could not hold out any longer. I crunched the delicious chicken. My greasy fingers stayed greasy.
By SamW


Friday 15 September
We have been writing some information reports about volcanoes. Check some of these great ones out!

Volcanoes and Earthquakes
By Helena
Volcanoes are the biggest explosion on earth. Inside the volcano it has a crater, main vent, secondary vent (also called the side vent), magma chamber, the magma and mantle.
The RIng of Fire is also called circle of volcanoes and is a red line. Be careful, New Zealand is right in the ring of fire. Some people call New Zealand the Shaky Isles. It's where the big earthquake happened in Christchurch. Many people died and many buildings destructed and many people left homeless. That's what is said on the news.
Why do earthquakes happen? Well I'll tell you. Tectonic plates push sideways. Pressure comes and wosh!!! An earthquake.

Volcanoes
By Charlotte A
Vocanoes are like mountains, but they erupt. They have been here on earth since the dinosaur age.
Volcanoes have a main vent and a secondary vent. It has magma inside of it. When the magma comes out it is called lava. When the magma chamber erupts, it can kill thousands and break thousands of houses.

Volcanoes
By Sam F
Volcanoes are so hot that the outside is almost the hottest part of the volcano.
Volcanoes have a magma chamber, side vents and a main vent. Do you know how earthquakes are formed? Well, the tectonic plates collide and build pressure, then bang! Did you know every thirty seconds in the world an earthquake happens?
They are so dangerous! They can kill about 1,000 people in a minute. After an earthquake flames can go through the town and burn lots of buildings. They can kill thousands and thousands of people. 
Volcanoes are very rare. There are many types of volcanoes: extinct, dormant and active volcanoes.
Volcanoes are interesting. 



25 November
Some outstanding moment and time stories written in Room 6 today!

Disco
By Helena
I grabbed a bottle of water and a glow band. I zoomed into the room wasting my three dollars on a lolly pack and a glow ring. I started stuffing myself with lollies and danced around, popping balloons that got in my way. I did a long, long, long human train! Jessica went so fast we kept on tumbling on each other.


Disco
By Kees
When I walked in I was suddenly amazed. The lights were flashing in my eyes. I was so annoyed. I had a huge packet of sugary lollies. The lights were changing colours, green, red, blue and purple. The banging beat was loud.


Finger
By Elliet
"Ouch Violet that really hurt," I squealed down to my mum. I shivered as I glanced down at my sore finger. My mum said to put a sticky plaster on it but I said, "No Mum, it's really sore."


Giving Feedback to Each Other About Our Writing.
Feedback is crucial to learning. We have worked hard on identifying the things we should give feedback on. It reinforces the learning for both the giver of feedback and the receiver. Enjoy the photos of us giving feedback to each other and the actual feedback we gave to written work.






The Hydro Slide   By Max
I screamed with fear. Sam F came with me. Billy went 2nd and me and Sam F came 1st. The guard said, "Don't go head first." So...I didn't. It was the absolute favourite time, nothing would beat it! It was my best birthday ever. After that a delicious scrumptious looking cake was waiting for me to eat. I licked my watery lips and took a bite. Crumbs fell out of my mouth. I felt I could go psycho. It was a Tasmanian Devil monster truck.
The Feedback

  • Wow! Max That's a really good story. Great proof reading. Flynn
  • Great verbs. Jordan



Lightning By Kees
When I stepped outside streak went the lightning. I was scared with fear. I yelled so loudly Mum's ears nearly fell off. It was pure white like milk. I was sitting inside watching TV on a flat screen. It was so awful because rain was dripping like mad. The darkness was approaching the sky. When I was in bed the lightning was loud like an earthquake. Wow! I jumped out with a terrible fear up my spine. When I went outside in the morning the darkness was away. The grass was green. The sky was bright like the sun.

The Feedback









  • Great start and good adjectives. Joshua E
  • Wow! That was really cool. That blew me away Kees.
  • Good adjectives and moment in time Max. Oscar

  • Nerf Gun  By Oscar
    Bam, bam. "Got you," as I was reloading.
     "Duck, Harvey is beating you."
    I sprinted away and hid in a perfect place for half an hour and then went closer to the house. I finally got found.

    The Feedback

    • Very good moment in time. Billy
    • Great verbs and detail. Kees
    The Sluicing By Sam F
    As I jumped on our super duper bikes and zoomed off only leaving a pile of dust behind, past the old church and the rockery too until.... we got to the dried up sluicings. We sped down to the tiny lake and took a week dip.
    "Ouch," yelled Zach and he jumped out.
    In fact we all jumped out. We saw the predator, a koura.
    "Callba," Zach yelled.
    "Phew, at least you didn't loose a toe," said Billy.
    "Goodness gracious," Braydon said.
    We had no decision left. We had to go in! This time, no screams. No yelps, no nothing. Then with a thundering paw, we zoomed off. Wahoo, that was fun. Then out of the distance we saw a truly magnificent waterfall. My eyes were amazed by the falling water. I couldn't resist diving in to the pool at the bottom. Can you imagine how cold it was in there? It was like an iceberg.

    The Feedback
    • I want you to tell me where it is Sam. I want to go there. Max
    • I had a picture in my mind and it sounds cool. Flynn



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